No Regrets. When Things Are Not Meant To Be


Early in the morning, when I was in between awake and not wanting to get up, a recollection flowed to me—it was of something I wanted so badly, but the variables in motion relegated me to a different, rather (mortifying) role (position). At least that’s what it felt like at the time.

For a long time.

Not only did I want this job very badly, but it seemed pretty certain that I would get it, I was in direct succession, next in line…matter of fact, I DID have it.

For one day. Nah, think it was an hour or two…

It’s funny how this memory showed up—I was thinking about something seemingly unrelated, someone I knew of but never met—he was the main variable of the variables in motion. Why he came to mind along with memory of this event, I am certain it was in reminder of a lesson, of Wisdom gained.

The phone call came outta leftfield, the head of the company had hired me for a spot I had hoped to get eventually. The person I was to replace had suffered an injury right before auditions for a major project and I was an emergency call to save the day. Man was I excited, sorry that it came at the person’s misfortune, but it was an incredible opportunity. Plus, I would spend months in a country I LOVED.

I had been elevated to Director/Choreographer of a beloved, wildly popular recurring project. Actually, it was a huge, prestigious event.


Yeah, but….


After the phone call, I began to plan. A couple hours later if even that much, I got the call that unbeknownst to the person hiring me, the guy I was to replace had tapped another person to fill his slot. The artistic director felt an obligation to honor this. To make matters worse, the new Director/Choreographer could not conduct the auditions due to a conflict, so I was asked to do so.

Yup, I would be creating choreography to showcase candidates that someone else would make decisions on hiring and work with.

Bummer big time.

I was devastated. Was offered the meal but only left with the crumbs.

Yeah, I did the auditions. It was painful to the ego. Though I got to revisit a place and see people that I adore, deep down I was filled with regret and hurt. Tinged with anger. What would it have meant for my career, for my Life at the time? What opportunities were waiting to be birthed as a result of having that position? These were some of the thoughts I played host to. None of them Joyful or uplifting.

Of course, that job would have taken me down a completely different path. But that path would have been short lived in the long run for…that’s right, variables. Variables that were invisible to me at the time. Invisible and so sadly tragic as the beloved artistic director died suddenly  a few years later. That path for me would have been short-lived. The path I am on is truly the right one in that it is Fulfilling, Enlightening, Joyful and is allows me to express more of who I truly am and the one that I am Becoming.


What Do They Say? That Hindsight is 20/20…


But that’s all hindsight now. What good did the regrets do as not one thing in the scenario changed as a result of my having them—the results were still The Results.

You know how when we don’t get something we really really want, we can wallow in the emotions and feelings that dredge up? How we can moan, groan and sometimes cry in the not having of that thing, that situation or person? At the time, it may seem like the end of the world, something we can walk with regret for quite some time—what if this, that or the other had happened? What if it had come through? What would Life be like now? These Thoughts fill our being with Regret, with the what ifs, how comes, etc.

Regret as a verb is defined as to feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity). As a noun a definition is a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done.

But in the end, Regret is just an empty feeling, devoid of the Higher Frequencies we want to Vibrate on.

In Reminder…


Some quotes to consider when it comes to Regret, here’s a pretty famous one from the author Kurt Vonnegut: “Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, “it might have been.”

“The feelings that hurt most, the emotions that sting most, are those that are absurd – The longing for impossible things, precisely because they are impossible; nostalgia for what never was; the desire for what could have been; regret over not being someone else; dissatisfaction with the world’s existence. All these half-tones of the soul’s consciousness create in us a painful landscape, an eternal sunset of what we are.” ― Fernando Pessoa, poet

“The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated. And the only thing people regret is that they didn’t live boldly enough, that they didn’t invest enough heart, didn’t love enough. Nothing else really counts at all.” ― Ted Hughes, poet

“Don’t waste your time in anger, regrets, worries, and grudges. Life is too short to be unhappy.”
― Roy T. Bennett, writer

“We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.” ― Steve Maraboli, writer

Regret stays in our air space, until we acknowledge its existence in our minds and let it go. Having the regret is not the issue, keeping the regret is.

Free yourself and live Regret=Free. Just LIVE.




Holla back, I welcome your comments and thoughts.





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